ViVA X-LAW FAMILY
WELCOME TO X-LAW CLAN FORUM SITE! PLEASE REGISTER OR LOG IN.PLEASE FILL THE COMPLETE PROFILE INFO


WE STAND AS ONE
 
HomeGalleryMemberlistUsergroupsFAQRegisterLog in
Statistics
We have 569 registered users
The newest registered user is sinsama

Our users have posted a total of 7012 messages in 3291 subjects

Share | 
 

 MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
X-LAW SESH`FORUM-ADDICT
Forum Pioneer
Forum Pioneer
avatar

Posts : 2543
Points : 5008
Reputation : 1287
Join date : 2011-05-23
Age : 23
Location : Lubao, Pampanga

PostSubject: MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"   Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:47 am

REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" of Microsoft's latest operating system shell program, Bob. In the small hours of this morning, Java, the "friendly" coffee-drinking dinosaur, burst from the screen of Fitzgerald's computer, cutting a swath of destruction throughout the hapless worker's office and into the accompanying hallway.

The beast was quickly subdued by Microsoft Campus Security upon failing to produce a valid Microsoft keycard, avoiding what could otherwise have been a tragedy of much greater proportions. He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation at the Washington Institute for Perfectly Valid Lifeforms Who in the Heat of the Moment Do Some Absolutely Naughty Things. Says Lars Opstad, chief spiritual healer and concert pianist, "It's touch and go right now. I don't think Java yet realizes the immensity of what he's done."

`Eyewitnesses say that they could hear the stegosaur-like computer guide screaming "All I wanted was a GOOD espresso" in those terrible moments before dawn. Said Rover Retriever, another Bob personality, "This is just terrible. Java was always such a great guy. Sure, he was a little high strung, but I can't believe he would do something like this. I think we need to seriously re-examine the stress that the Bob Personality group is under so that another such incident doesn't occur."

A possible precipitant to the incident could be Java's recent attempt to quit smoking as a result of a clause in his contract. Lawyers are examining whether this constitutes a violation of discriminatory hiring statutes on Microsoft's part. Microsoft Legal could not be reached for comment, but an undisclosed source asserted "We couldn't have him puffing away like that. He's a dinosaur, not a dragon. It would confuse the market."

Coroner's reports say Fitzgerald died instantly of cardiac arrest, but are unclear on whether this was a result of the vicious attack or the fact that Bob installed successfully on NT.
Back to top Go down
 
MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» NOV 26 - LONDON: A 'Hands' event at Wellcome Collection!
» HANDS IN SCRIPTURE - Pastor Larry Wood presents a new paradigma for spiritual thinking!
» The hands of Albert Einstein - person of the 20th century
» FUNNY CHRISTMAS VIDEO - How dogs with hands prepair for Xmas!
» 3-week-old baby dies

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
ViVA X-LAW FAMILY :: GENERAL SECTION :: Jokes and Humors-
Jump to: