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 Love Story:Ditch

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PostSubject: Love Story:Ditch   Sat Sep 10, 2011 11:20 pm

I don’t know how to write a story and I am not even good in explanations.. but i m trying my best to express my feeling and tell all of you my story.. You all require to be patient and strong to listen to my story :’( Here i start..
2 January, 2009, i met Raj(Fake Name) not face to face but on internet..He was from Mumbai but at that time he was working in Bangalore.. I was in Punjab, miles away from him.. We started chatting.. Then one day he asked me for my photo.. i was confused.. I showed him my photo which was not superb but was good.. He said, “You are beautiful”. I said thank u.. After that we started chatting for long.. he used to be in office where he was working and i used to be at home..
One day he proposed me.. and i softly told him that this is not possible because my parents wont agree.. he said OK.. After few days, i don’t know what happened to me,, i started loving him.. and then i told him my feelings.. he was very happy.. and he asked me for my phone number.. then i realized that No.. my parents wont agree and i told him that i need to control.. he said OK..
But then we started chatting for long and our love grew.. and finally we both fell in love with each other.. I still remember those feelings.. Then my finals came.. i was in BCA-2nd year.. and in April i had to give exams of BCA-2nd year.. In march, he lost his job because of recession and he was very upset.. i consoled him.. On 18th March he moved to Mumbai i.e. at his own place.. and i promised myself that i wont open my accounts till I m over with my finals because i was not able to study.. the day my exams got over i.e. on 20th of April..
i opened my account and read his mail.. i loved that feeling.. it was written in the mail that he was missing me so much.. and then we started chatting for long.. one day he came on webcam and i actually saw him.. it was not that i haven’t seen him before.. but I saw him only in photos.. that day i saw him on webcam and it was like real.. Its not that he was very handsome or good looking but i was in love with him.. den days passed..
He was jobless.. he tried a lot to get a job but was unable to.. One day he was very upset,, it was end of may.. i couldn’t see him in problem.. and i told him that not to worry.. i said I’ll do something for him.. he asked me that what will i do.. i said not to worry.. I’ll do something with which he’ll surely get a job.. he asked me that how m i so sure about that and asked me if i have any source.. i laughed and said just wait.. i dint have any source but I m sure you’ll get a job in few days.. he felt better and said he’ll wait for that day..
Only i know what i did for him.. i fasted for him :’( i didn’t eat nor had water for 2 days.. It was hard.. really hard that too in summers.. it was the starting of June.. i was getting weaker and weaker.. after 2 days he came online for few minutes.. i didn’t tell him about my fast.. he started talking to me.. and i was waiting to listen something about his job.. But i didn’t ask him anything about job.. We chatted for 10-15 minutes.. when he was about to go.. he said he got a job.. I was Very happy and at the same time i was hurt because he didn’t tell me when we just started chatting. He just said he got a job.. i congratulated him.. I was expecting tat he’ll ask me that what did i do for him that he got a job in only 2 days for he was trying for 2 months to get a job.
he didn’t ask me anything n i was badly hurt.. But i was happy too because God listened to me and gave him a job.. I thought may be he has forgotten that thing and may be he’ll ask me later.. Next day when we chatted .. he didn’t ask me.. then i stared giving him hints.. den also he didn’t ask me anything.. :’( I was hurt
Then his job started.. and he became busy.. we used to chat.. but very little like once in a week or may be on weekends.. as he said he was very busy. But i still used to be online on weekdays thinking that by mistake he’ll come online and we’ll talk.. But all in vain.. Nothing like that happened.One day on week day, i was online and i saw him online.. I was happy but at the same time i was shocked that how can he come online at this office timings.. i was in invisible mode.. he was on gmail..I sent him a mail a day before and i was expecting a reply from him that day as he was online at that time.. When I came online.. he suddenly went offline :’(
again i was hurt.. but still i thought may be he was busy.. On weekend when he came online and we chatted.. i asked him about dat day.. n he said he dont know.. he was busy writing a mail to his boss etc.. i said ok.. One day I was in a bad mood.. n i said dat my parents wont agree for our marriage.. n i asked if he has gutts to run away with me.. he said no.. his mum is ill n he cant do dat.. i said ok.. i just asked.. n den i realised he showed less interest in me.. (But there was one hope dat after completing my bca.. for mca i’ll go to mumbai for studying n i’ll meet him)
Den months passed.. july, august, september.. We used to chat very little.. den days came when we used to chat but after 1 month..
i was very upset n i asked him dat wat is going on?? m waitin n waitin n waiting.. u never come online.. u dont even have 5 minutes for me?? u come online after 1 month.. wat kinda relationship is dis???
his only answer used to be sorry baby.. i m very busy…I used to cry a lottttttt.. 3-4 months of mine went in crying.. I used to cry whole day.. n den i realised he was going away from me day by day.. i wanted his love..
September, october, november, december passed away.. we just chatted for may be 2 times.. dat too for just an hour.. 3 january was his birthday.. i managed to come online late at night at may be 2:00.. he was online coz he used to get free from his job at 12:00 n he used to reach at his home at may me 1:30.. After dinner he used to come online on fb n gmail just to check his mails.. I wished him for his birthday.. we were happy talking to each other.. the moment he used to say whenever we chatted dat he had to sleep now or he had to go.. i literally used to cry but never showed him bcoz i used to think dat ” ab pata nai kab baat hogi”..
Days passed away.. n i was sure dat he had no interest left in me.. One day i asked him dat if i close all my accounts n go away.. wat will he do.. his answer was dat “he’ll feel bad.. but slowly he’ll try to forget me as time heals everything”.. n i was I was sure dat he has no interest in marrying me..
It was almost over.. In may.. i finally closed my fb account.. When he got to know this.. he sent me a mail on my yahoo a/c.. n i deleted yahoo a/c too without replying him.. Everthing was over..
This was the story of a person whom i loved the most..
Now a big change in my story..When i was being ignored by Raj in MAY,AUGUST.. i felt alone.. There was a guy Rohit (Fake Name)whom i used to chat.. he was a man who never used to talk in a good way to anyone.. nobody liked him much.. But i used to talk to him very politely..
i dont know wat happened n he started loving me.. he proposed me n i said NO.. coz i was already in love with Raj although i was ignored by him at dat time.. But i didnt tell Rohit about Raj.. He was badly in love with me.. I was sick bcoz i didnt get love from raj n i tried to get dat love from Rohit.. n i said YES to Rohit.. one day passed and the next day only i realised n told rohit dat i will not marry him coz my parents wont agree.. i said a big NO to him.. finally my eyes opened.. i stopped everything.. because i knew dat i love Raj n i was not able to come out of him..
Next Big change in my story..
I know u people r not liking my story but m crying while writing dis story coz i dont know how to express n explain everything.. :’(
The next beautiful thing happened to me..
My love came in my life.. not raj, not rohit.. he was Aakash(Fake Name)..
While i used to chat with raj n rohit.. aakash was also my frend.. but just a frend.. n he also fell in love with me.. :/
But i still loved Raj.. wat to say,, wat not to say.. i was confused..
Aakash was well educated , a nice guy..
Somewhere inside i knew dat Raj was already gone.. the love which i didnt get from raj.. i got dat love from aakash..
Slowly i came out of raj..n i went into a relationship with aakash..
now till date.. i m in a relationship with aakash n happy..n we meet each other, a kinda proper relationship.. But in february i gt to know dat raj got married n dat too love marriage… :’(((
i should not think about him but still i cant get myself out of him.. Aakash loves me n i love him too.. but why is dis raj coming in my mind again n again.. :’( No one can forget his/her first love.. n raj was my first love.. How can i forget him?
M screwed..
N one thing dat always makes me afraid is dat i havent told aakash about raj n rohit :’(
how can i tell him???
Our love started with frendship.. i didnt tell him about dis when we were frends.. then how can i tell him now?? its too late..
its been one and a half year dat we r in a relation..
Our relation is so strong dat i dont even like when people call him as my bf coz i feel like he’s my husband..
But i cant get myself out of raj.. i dont love raj like the way i used to love him but still something is dere..
I never met Raj..:’(
He was like a dream to me which never got fulfilled..Somwhere inside me dere is a wish to see him.. but when i think about aakash.. i dont know.. i love akaash but why is Raj coming in my mind when nothing can happen???
You all might think dat i left raj..
But The real thing is When i left him, he was already walking away..
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