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 Love Story:My Complicated Life (Part 2)

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PostSubject: Love Story:My Complicated Life (Part 2)   Sat Sep 10, 2011 8:06 am

I pushed him to say, promised him I would not get hurt anymore because the pain Todd gave me is really a lot, and Tian said he knew that my partner cheated behind me long before he knew that Todd has relationship with me, that was the million times the pain Todd put on me,

I felt so numb in the moment of my agony. I fell down so deep down to hell, but then Tian told me, he liked me, he liked me since he saw what I did all the time at work, and he all the time warned me that Todd isn’t good for me, and Todd will always be like that, such a Bastard always be that way, cheating, betraying, not respecting me, not listening to me. Tian was like a water for me, when I was so burnt and thirsty. He made my heart cool, like an angel who will save me from a bad moment.

But then my angel didn’t stay for long time, he came back to his town to continue his life, but he promised me to go back with his daughter, he also asked me to come to his place. I never gave answer about his words, but I feel so close to him, I wish he would stay, but he left me. He left to his town. He left me here with unfinished case about my feeling, about my life.

In fact he left me, one more time I felt alone.
Story is unfinished.

My partner now, Todd, he told me he regret for everything he had done to me, he started treat me as good as the first time we met, but I have no idea if this is fake or true from his heart, also I have no idea if he really regret for what his done about betraying me and cheating behind me.

Now I found myself engaged with Todd. I felt my love is for him, I knew he has been hurting me so bad, but I didn’t want him to feel hurt because of what I’ve done to him. So I said Yes when he asked me to marry him.

Deep inside my heart, I still wish I could meet Tian again. Deep inside, I can’t keep my mind off of Tian.

What Tian made to my heart for a really short memories but really precious.

I am in Dilema, I don’t want to hurt Todd though he hurted me so bad, because I really love him. But I know deep inside I can’t forget Tian, he can’t be forgotten so easily.

Tian now doesn’t know that I will marry Todd. I know if Tian knows he will also get hurted.

I have no idea, this life is so much complicated.

Now what I want to do is to forget Tian, because this feeling is not right, I should be faithful, I don’t want to be like Todd that is unfaithful to me, and hurted me, I know how it hurts, but I don’t want to revenge him by this feeling to Tian.

Tian is away, he might find someone else better than me so easily.
But me, now my life is with Todd. I will be like before, so loyal to him, as long as he really never betray me, because if once Todd betray me again, not me who will revenge it, but the life will revenge him, and turn his life upside down.

But maybe Tian was right that Todd will never change, maybe Todd still have hundreds girls out there that I don’t know, maybe I just can’t trust Todd anymore, maybe the fear that he would do the same mistakes is still exist in my mind, I fear of his bad behavior and his unfaithfulness.
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